The Very First Moment

Recently, I was talking a friend of mine, who is not particularly lovie-dovie, and he told me about a date he had just been on. I, of course, asked him how it went. She wasn't anything special, he said, didn't meet his criteria. So I asked him what his "criteria" was and he said "a girl has to make me nervous - I have to be nervous when I'm around her (at first): worried about what I say, how I dress, things like that."

And it got me thinking about my own criteria... and I don't mean just the "on-paper" criteria. I'm talking about how you know if the guy you've just met will be someone you want to date, someone you want to let into your life.

We all have our criteria - some of us like dark hair, some of us like tall, and some of us like funny. But those are all the criteria we assign to the guy. But what about OUR criteria? What about that thing we check off the list that makes us stop and think that this guy's got something special?

I started thinking about what has made a guy really special for me, and naturally I thought back to my three great loves. Each one different from the last. Each one nonetheless makes my list of "great loves." But one thing wove them all together. And that thing was the moment we met. I can recall the exact moment - the temperature of the room, the lighting, the feeling I got, how we met, what our first words to each other were, the moment we made eye contact. I can remember those three moments like they happened 10 minutes ago, yet they were all years ago. We met, we shook hands, we exchanged glances, and I didn't know it then, but those three would each individually become a great love.

And that's when I realized that maybe my criteria was the very first moment. The very first spark. And if it didn't happen then, it would never happen.

Now, some people say that love at first sight doesn't exist - that it can't exist. But what if it can? And what if it's MY criteria? For some, it's that they get nervous, and maybe for others it's a fleeting moment that is captured only once, but once is enough.

I'll be open to other criteria, but so far this one seems to be mine.