Ladies,
I am getting restless. I am reaching out to each of you in a request. Not a desperate one, but for the future of this "blog" and the future of my sanity, I pose (or POST) this to you all:
I am looking to go on dates. Think of one guy friend who is single and is willing to take out an amazing girl such as myself. This will be a new twist to this blog. Go out on dates of friends of (girl)friends.
I challenge each of you to come up with one guy, preferably who lives close to me (Providence, Boston, NYC) and set me up on a date. What's more fun than being a shadchen? (That's Yiddish for matchmaker.)
This sort of reminds me of the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie runs out of things to write about to needs to resort to writing about socks, and Samantha makes a fabulous pun - SOCKS and the City. Don't worry, I will not be writing about the new socks I recently bought.
Looking for responses (email is fine). Over and out.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Beyond Level 1: The Bonzai Tree Incident
So there's this guy I've gone out with several times. We went out a few times my first year of law school (2 years ago), and a few times last year, and a few times this year. It never really went anywhere, and neither of us were both very into the whole thing, but this last time I figured it was time to take it to the second level.
There are three levels when you are dating someone or interested in dating someone.
Level 1: YOU. You see a guy and determine if you like him. You go on a few dates, determine you like him enough, and this could potentially go somewhere. On to Level 2.
Level 2: YOUR FRIENDS. Ok, so you've gone out enough times with the guy to determine you like him enough. But now you need to see if your friends like him, he likes your friends, if you mesh well, etc. Personally, if my friends don't like the guy I'm dating, it's a red flag. (Partly because my friends are amazing, and partly because I trust their judgment.) Your friends like him, on to Level 3.
Level 3: Now this is the BIG ONE - FAMILY! Once you've determined that you like him, your friends like him, it's now time to introduce him to your parents/brother/sister, etc. Personally, with a Jewish mother, this part can be as nerve-racking for me as it is for the guy. Good luck! But this is the ultimate test. If your family likes the guy, then he's in. If your family doesn't, then you're in trouble, or in for a loooooong tough relationship.
So this guy I had been dating, Jake, had made it past Level 1. I decided that my birthday would be the perfect time to take it to Level 2. This year for my birthday I kept it low-key, nothing crazy, just a few friends at a local bar. I talk to Jake a few days before my birthday and suggest we hang out just the 2 of us first, then meet up with all of my friends. He thinks this idea is "perfect."
My birthday rolls around, and I don't hear from him all day. I decide not to sit around waiting, so my sister and I go shopping (obviously), and then have dinner with my brother-in-law. Around 4:30 pm Jake calls, and asks me what I'm doing, and what my plans are for later. I say that I'm shopping, and I'm meeting up with my friends at a local bar. He sounds apprehensive and says, "Oh, um, I thought you were going into Boston to go out. Ok, well, text me the name of the place and... I'll call you later." Right. Sounds promising.
Later on, as I'm about to head out for the night, I get a text from him explaining that he probably won't come out because he really wanted to drink tonight, and can't find a ride to the bar and has no way of getting there. Uh huh. Right. It's a 10 minute ride/ $15 cab ride, but he needs to drink. I don't let it bother me.
I'm at the bar, with my friends, having a good time, when Jake starts texting me. "I'm so sorry, I feel so bad, I really blew it, yadda yadda."
Now you're probably thinking that I was upset about this whole thing. But to be honest, because I was never head-over-heels for this guy, I actually wasn't upset at all. So I decide that I'm over the whole thing, and it's time to move on from this guy. It's been 2.5 years since we've met, and nothing has happened, it's gone no where, time to stop wasting time.
The next night, I receive a phone call from him. I must give him credit - he apologized the way a true apology should go: no "I'm sorry, but...", no "I'm sorry you feel that way, but...". Just a simple, heart-felt, true apology. He said that it would be awkward with my friends because he didn't know anyone, so that's why he didn't come out. I explained to him that my friends are great, they wouldn't have just left him sitting there by himself, and besides, it's not about last night. It's about the fact that we made plans and he didn't call all day. And, after 2 years, he has never really shown much interest. True, it takes 2 to tango, and I'm not completely innocent here. If I really liked him, I probably would have shown more interest.
Normally, when someone apologizes like that I usually feel so badly that I give them one more chance. I give people the B of the D (benefit of the doubt). But this time I needed to put my foot down. I wasn't feeling him, I wasn't excited about him, so it was time to end it. We said goodbye, and hopefully we'll hear from each other in the future. And I thought that would be it...
The following day, Jake sends me a text asking for my address. Sure enough, the following week I get a large box in the mail from ProFlowers. I open it up to find a bonzai tree and a stuffed panda bear, with a note saying this was my belated birthday/apology gift, and that everytime I look at it, he hopes I think of him and find a way to forgive him.
It was a really sweet gesture. Unbeknownst to him, I would have preferred 1-2 dozen pink roses, or any other plant that's already dead. I can't keep plants alive, and bonzai trees are the 2nd hardest plant to keep alive (aside from orchids). Poor Jake, he doesn't know.
This got me thinking (per usual). He sent me a very nice gift as an apology, and wants me to give him a second chance. I thought about it: if I wasn't that excited about him before, what would change now? I came to the conclusion that I was still done with him.
But then I talked to my dad, and he asked me if I was SURE I was done with him. He said that sometimes guys don't show their emotions very well, until it's too late. Good guys are hard to come by. So obviously this got me thinking... again...
And now here I am, back to square one. Thinking. Did I make the right decision? Did I blow him off too easily? Do I brush guys off too easily in general?
I leave the comments open to you girls. In the meantime, I have to go water my bonzai tree, Daniel-Son.
There are three levels when you are dating someone or interested in dating someone.
Level 1: YOU. You see a guy and determine if you like him. You go on a few dates, determine you like him enough, and this could potentially go somewhere. On to Level 2.
Level 2: YOUR FRIENDS. Ok, so you've gone out enough times with the guy to determine you like him enough. But now you need to see if your friends like him, he likes your friends, if you mesh well, etc. Personally, if my friends don't like the guy I'm dating, it's a red flag. (Partly because my friends are amazing, and partly because I trust their judgment.) Your friends like him, on to Level 3.
Level 3: Now this is the BIG ONE - FAMILY! Once you've determined that you like him, your friends like him, it's now time to introduce him to your parents/brother/sister, etc. Personally, with a Jewish mother, this part can be as nerve-racking for me as it is for the guy. Good luck! But this is the ultimate test. If your family likes the guy, then he's in. If your family doesn't, then you're in trouble, or in for a loooooong tough relationship.
So this guy I had been dating, Jake, had made it past Level 1. I decided that my birthday would be the perfect time to take it to Level 2. This year for my birthday I kept it low-key, nothing crazy, just a few friends at a local bar. I talk to Jake a few days before my birthday and suggest we hang out just the 2 of us first, then meet up with all of my friends. He thinks this idea is "perfect."
My birthday rolls around, and I don't hear from him all day. I decide not to sit around waiting, so my sister and I go shopping (obviously), and then have dinner with my brother-in-law. Around 4:30 pm Jake calls, and asks me what I'm doing, and what my plans are for later. I say that I'm shopping, and I'm meeting up with my friends at a local bar. He sounds apprehensive and says, "Oh, um, I thought you were going into Boston to go out. Ok, well, text me the name of the place and... I'll call you later." Right. Sounds promising.
Later on, as I'm about to head out for the night, I get a text from him explaining that he probably won't come out because he really wanted to drink tonight, and can't find a ride to the bar and has no way of getting there. Uh huh. Right. It's a 10 minute ride/ $15 cab ride, but he needs to drink. I don't let it bother me.
I'm at the bar, with my friends, having a good time, when Jake starts texting me. "I'm so sorry, I feel so bad, I really blew it, yadda yadda."
Now you're probably thinking that I was upset about this whole thing. But to be honest, because I was never head-over-heels for this guy, I actually wasn't upset at all. So I decide that I'm over the whole thing, and it's time to move on from this guy. It's been 2.5 years since we've met, and nothing has happened, it's gone no where, time to stop wasting time.
The next night, I receive a phone call from him. I must give him credit - he apologized the way a true apology should go: no "I'm sorry, but...", no "I'm sorry you feel that way, but...". Just a simple, heart-felt, true apology. He said that it would be awkward with my friends because he didn't know anyone, so that's why he didn't come out. I explained to him that my friends are great, they wouldn't have just left him sitting there by himself, and besides, it's not about last night. It's about the fact that we made plans and he didn't call all day. And, after 2 years, he has never really shown much interest. True, it takes 2 to tango, and I'm not completely innocent here. If I really liked him, I probably would have shown more interest.
Normally, when someone apologizes like that I usually feel so badly that I give them one more chance. I give people the B of the D (benefit of the doubt). But this time I needed to put my foot down. I wasn't feeling him, I wasn't excited about him, so it was time to end it. We said goodbye, and hopefully we'll hear from each other in the future. And I thought that would be it...
The following day, Jake sends me a text asking for my address. Sure enough, the following week I get a large box in the mail from ProFlowers. I open it up to find a bonzai tree and a stuffed panda bear, with a note saying this was my belated birthday/apology gift, and that everytime I look at it, he hopes I think of him and find a way to forgive him.
It was a really sweet gesture. Unbeknownst to him, I would have preferred 1-2 dozen pink roses, or any other plant that's already dead. I can't keep plants alive, and bonzai trees are the 2nd hardest plant to keep alive (aside from orchids). Poor Jake, he doesn't know.
This got me thinking (per usual). He sent me a very nice gift as an apology, and wants me to give him a second chance. I thought about it: if I wasn't that excited about him before, what would change now? I came to the conclusion that I was still done with him.
But then I talked to my dad, and he asked me if I was SURE I was done with him. He said that sometimes guys don't show their emotions very well, until it's too late. Good guys are hard to come by. So obviously this got me thinking... again...
And now here I am, back to square one. Thinking. Did I make the right decision? Did I blow him off too easily? Do I brush guys off too easily in general?
I leave the comments open to you girls. In the meantime, I have to go water my bonzai tree, Daniel-Son.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
The Very First Moment
Recently, I was talking a friend of mine, who is not particularly lovie-dovie, and he told me about a date he had just been on. I, of course, asked him how it went. She wasn't anything special, he said, didn't meet his criteria. So I asked him what his "criteria" was and he said "a girl has to make me nervous - I have to be nervous when I'm around her (at first): worried about what I say, how I dress, things like that."
And it got me thinking about my own criteria... and I don't mean just the "on-paper" criteria. I'm talking about how you know if the guy you've just met will be someone you want to date, someone you want to let into your life.
We all have our criteria - some of us like dark hair, some of us like tall, and some of us like funny. But those are all the criteria we assign to the guy. But what about OUR criteria? What about that thing we check off the list that makes us stop and think that this guy's got something special?
I started thinking about what has made a guy really special for me, and naturally I thought back to my three great loves. Each one different from the last. Each one nonetheless makes my list of "great loves." But one thing wove them all together. And that thing was the moment we met. I can recall the exact moment - the temperature of the room, the lighting, the feeling I got, how we met, what our first words to each other were, the moment we made eye contact. I can remember those three moments like they happened 10 minutes ago, yet they were all years ago. We met, we shook hands, we exchanged glances, and I didn't know it then, but those three would each individually become a great love.
And that's when I realized that maybe my criteria was the very first moment. The very first spark. And if it didn't happen then, it would never happen.
Now, some people say that love at first sight doesn't exist - that it can't exist. But what if it can? And what if it's MY criteria? For some, it's that they get nervous, and maybe for others it's a fleeting moment that is captured only once, but once is enough.
I'll be open to other criteria, but so far this one seems to be mine.
And it got me thinking about my own criteria... and I don't mean just the "on-paper" criteria. I'm talking about how you know if the guy you've just met will be someone you want to date, someone you want to let into your life.
We all have our criteria - some of us like dark hair, some of us like tall, and some of us like funny. But those are all the criteria we assign to the guy. But what about OUR criteria? What about that thing we check off the list that makes us stop and think that this guy's got something special?
I started thinking about what has made a guy really special for me, and naturally I thought back to my three great loves. Each one different from the last. Each one nonetheless makes my list of "great loves." But one thing wove them all together. And that thing was the moment we met. I can recall the exact moment - the temperature of the room, the lighting, the feeling I got, how we met, what our first words to each other were, the moment we made eye contact. I can remember those three moments like they happened 10 minutes ago, yet they were all years ago. We met, we shook hands, we exchanged glances, and I didn't know it then, but those three would each individually become a great love.
And that's when I realized that maybe my criteria was the very first moment. The very first spark. And if it didn't happen then, it would never happen.
Now, some people say that love at first sight doesn't exist - that it can't exist. But what if it can? And what if it's MY criteria? For some, it's that they get nervous, and maybe for others it's a fleeting moment that is captured only once, but once is enough.
I'll be open to other criteria, but so far this one seems to be mine.
Monday, September 27, 2010
The Height of My Problems
So I currently find myself in a pickle, and I'm short an idea... literally.
Rewind to the beginning of the summer... I met this guy Adam when I was out with an old friend if mine from college. I must have given him my number, but I don't recall (and no, it's not because I was intoxicated, thank you very much).
Fast forward to about a month ago... Adam sends me a random text and thus begins a funny convo over text that lasts a couple of weeks. Then Adam suggests we get a drink sometimes. I said sure, why not.
(Side note: here's the 411 on Adam: lives in Southie, nice Jewish guy, in sales, went to UMass, my age.)
On a rainy Friday night (I believe it was Hurricane Earl?), I meet up with Adam at Bond, the hotel bar in Boston. Great place. We get a few drinks, have a great time, and I decide that I think I'd like to see him again.
So a week or so later, I'm back in Boston and we get dinner at Eastern Standard. Another fantastic place with delicious food (very impressive place to take a date), and NO, we did not split a glass of wine. And after dinner we go to the Mandarin Hotel bar - meh. Wouldn't recommend it unless you're staying there already.
Of course, something weird happens to me. (Always a story!) Adam and I are sitting at the bar, and this woman about 32 years old comes up to us, questionably drunk, and asks whether we are together. The question baffles both my date and me, and I blurt out "Yes." The woman says to me, "Oh too bad, my friend thinks your cute. But I'm married! And I'm pregnant!" Ummmmm, ok that doesn't make this situation any less awkward. (And NO, her friend was NOT cute, if you're wondering.)
But that's not where this story is going...
I decided, after this date, that I'd like to see him again. Things are going very well, I've had a great time with him so far, we get along, all in all, great guy.
There's just ONE. SMALL. CATCH. And I mean small... and that would be his height. (There's always a catch.) With heels, I may be his height or taller - and I'm only 5'1".
This is when I ask: is his height something I can get over? Every girl has certain criteria when it comes to her men, and we must determine which of those are deal-breakers. I wasn't sure yet whether the height issue was a deal-breaker, so I thought about how much fun I have with him, and decided to give it a shot, and see him again.
So a couple of weeks ago, I planned a great day in Newport - we saw the mansions, had lunch, walked around, got dinner - pretty much the perfect Newport day. And we even smooched. I had a FANTASTIC day! But I just couldn't shake this weird complex I had that he was so short.
And I had this weird complex feeling going into our last date last week when we saw The Town. (Great flick, highly recommend it, especially if you're from Boston.) Before I left for the movie, I had this unsettled feeling like I reeeeeallyyyy did not want to go, but it was too late at that point to cancel.
Since then, I have been thinking about it long and hard, and I've come to the conclusion that every girl has a deal-breaker, and mine was his height. One of my top rules for dating is that you should at least be attracted to your man. If you're not, things just won't go well for the relationship. And I'm just not attracted to his height. And NOW is the time to cut this thing short.
So now I'm in this pickle... I need to end it, need to tell him it's over, but HOW?! Oh man, breaking up IS hard to do! I obviously can't say "You're really nice, but just a little short for me." Besides his height he's great. So basically anything I say will be a lie.
This is where you all come in. I open this post for suggestions in dealing with my little problem. Any ideas?? (Keep in mind that when I talked to him yesterday, he said he already has "a great idea planned for our next date." Greeeeatttt, could he make this any harder??)
Phew! This post has left me shortness... of breath!
Rewind to the beginning of the summer... I met this guy Adam when I was out with an old friend if mine from college. I must have given him my number, but I don't recall (and no, it's not because I was intoxicated, thank you very much).
Fast forward to about a month ago... Adam sends me a random text and thus begins a funny convo over text that lasts a couple of weeks. Then Adam suggests we get a drink sometimes. I said sure, why not.
(Side note: here's the 411 on Adam: lives in Southie, nice Jewish guy, in sales, went to UMass, my age.)
On a rainy Friday night (I believe it was Hurricane Earl?), I meet up with Adam at Bond, the hotel bar in Boston. Great place. We get a few drinks, have a great time, and I decide that I think I'd like to see him again.
So a week or so later, I'm back in Boston and we get dinner at Eastern Standard. Another fantastic place with delicious food (very impressive place to take a date), and NO, we did not split a glass of wine. And after dinner we go to the Mandarin Hotel bar - meh. Wouldn't recommend it unless you're staying there already.
Of course, something weird happens to me. (Always a story!) Adam and I are sitting at the bar, and this woman about 32 years old comes up to us, questionably drunk, and asks whether we are together. The question baffles both my date and me, and I blurt out "Yes." The woman says to me, "Oh too bad, my friend thinks your cute. But I'm married! And I'm pregnant!" Ummmmm, ok that doesn't make this situation any less awkward. (And NO, her friend was NOT cute, if you're wondering.)
But that's not where this story is going...
I decided, after this date, that I'd like to see him again. Things are going very well, I've had a great time with him so far, we get along, all in all, great guy.
There's just ONE. SMALL. CATCH. And I mean small... and that would be his height. (There's always a catch.) With heels, I may be his height or taller - and I'm only 5'1".
This is when I ask: is his height something I can get over? Every girl has certain criteria when it comes to her men, and we must determine which of those are deal-breakers. I wasn't sure yet whether the height issue was a deal-breaker, so I thought about how much fun I have with him, and decided to give it a shot, and see him again.
So a couple of weeks ago, I planned a great day in Newport - we saw the mansions, had lunch, walked around, got dinner - pretty much the perfect Newport day. And we even smooched. I had a FANTASTIC day! But I just couldn't shake this weird complex I had that he was so short.
And I had this weird complex feeling going into our last date last week when we saw The Town. (Great flick, highly recommend it, especially if you're from Boston.) Before I left for the movie, I had this unsettled feeling like I reeeeeallyyyy did not want to go, but it was too late at that point to cancel.
Since then, I have been thinking about it long and hard, and I've come to the conclusion that every girl has a deal-breaker, and mine was his height. One of my top rules for dating is that you should at least be attracted to your man. If you're not, things just won't go well for the relationship. And I'm just not attracted to his height. And NOW is the time to cut this thing short.
So now I'm in this pickle... I need to end it, need to tell him it's over, but HOW?! Oh man, breaking up IS hard to do! I obviously can't say "You're really nice, but just a little short for me." Besides his height he's great. So basically anything I say will be a lie.
This is where you all come in. I open this post for suggestions in dealing with my little problem. Any ideas?? (Keep in mind that when I talked to him yesterday, he said he already has "a great idea planned for our next date." Greeeeatttt, could he make this any harder??)
Phew! This post has left me shortness... of breath!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
A Peak into the other brain
Ladies,
I was recently exposed to this advice column. I actually know the person who wrote it. It's his first advice, but it's actually pretty good.
It's nice to look at how the other brain thinks...
http://weeklyworldnews.com/opinion/22203/dude-dating-with-j-train/#more-22203
ENJOY!
I was recently exposed to this advice column. I actually know the person who wrote it. It's his first advice, but it's actually pretty good.
It's nice to look at how the other brain thinks...
http://weeklyworldnews.com/opinion/22203/dude-dating-with-j-train/#more-22203
ENJOY!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
If you don't like it, then you shouldn't put a ring on it
First of all, welcome back ladies.
Back by popular demand, I have decided to reinstate this blog. But perhaps it's time to venture out of the dating scene and into other topics. (Don't fret, I will also be posting dating adventures.) My friend Diana even suggested I make sub-categories, like cooking or home and gardens. First I laughed, then I responded that if I ever gave advice on home and gardens I would have disheveled homes and dead gardens on my hands. No thanks. But I do find myself in predicaments and lost in thoughts, so why not give the readers what they want: MORE BLOGS!
Before I get into the last few dates I've had upon returning to Boston/ Rhode Island, I wanted to comment on this little article I recently read in my Marie Claire. (And by "my" I mean the extra one Alisa gets in the mail - for some reason they send her 2. I'm OK with it because it gives me something to read.)
As I quickly opened the cover because I find the picture of Katie Holmes on the front atrocious and the outfit she's wearing insulting, I stumbled upon an article titled "Faking My Engagement." (page 115 if you're curious) This woman who deals with lots of nerds and dorks in her job got fed up with these men asking her out and wanting to marry her. So what did she do? She ordered a fake engagement ring from Ms. Taken. This company is actually in the business of selling cubic zirconia-and-stainless steel rings for $30 for "party girls, waitresses, divorcees, jetsetters, not sad cases who buy fake rings because they're dying for pure deception."
Ummmm... isn't wearing a fake engagement ring EXACTLY that - pure deception??
And that's just the tip of the iceberg on all the things wrong with this.
As we chip away at this fake ice, my next problem is: why not just buy one at Claire's Accessories or even Arden B.? Both have some fantastic fake bling, it's probably cheaper or the same price as Ms. Taken's faux carat, and you're def not paying for shipping and handling. Sure, it might be slightly embarrassing going into a store and buying yourself a fake ring, but when you've come to the decision to buy a fake ring, I think you've gone past the point of embarrassment.
My other problem with wearing a fake engagement ring - and call me old fashioned - is that it's just bad luck. The purpose of it is to be a man-repellant, but if you're looking to get married one day, isn't repelling men (or women, depending on which way you swing) the LAST thing you want to do? In my youth, I used to wear a cute little amber ring my parents got me in Sweden when I was 16. I wore it on my engagement finger for years. As I started getting older and hitting the bars, I can't tell you how many MEN asked me if I was engaged. Shocked that it even appeared as an engagement ring, I started to think guys actually believed I was engaged. Now I make it a point to NOT wear anything resembling an engagement ring on my finger. (Gaudy rings obviously don't count.)
So, to the Claire Tragesers (the author of the article) of the world, I leave you with this one piece of advice: if you don't like guys constantly hitting on you, don't put a ring on it. Who knows who you will repel? Perhaps your future husband...
Back by popular demand, I have decided to reinstate this blog. But perhaps it's time to venture out of the dating scene and into other topics. (Don't fret, I will also be posting dating adventures.) My friend Diana even suggested I make sub-categories, like cooking or home and gardens. First I laughed, then I responded that if I ever gave advice on home and gardens I would have disheveled homes and dead gardens on my hands. No thanks. But I do find myself in predicaments and lost in thoughts, so why not give the readers what they want: MORE BLOGS!
Before I get into the last few dates I've had upon returning to Boston/ Rhode Island, I wanted to comment on this little article I recently read in my Marie Claire. (And by "my" I mean the extra one Alisa gets in the mail - for some reason they send her 2. I'm OK with it because it gives me something to read.)
As I quickly opened the cover because I find the picture of Katie Holmes on the front atrocious and the outfit she's wearing insulting, I stumbled upon an article titled "Faking My Engagement." (page 115 if you're curious) This woman who deals with lots of nerds and dorks in her job got fed up with these men asking her out and wanting to marry her. So what did she do? She ordered a fake engagement ring from Ms. Taken. This company is actually in the business of selling cubic zirconia-and-stainless steel rings for $30 for "party girls, waitresses, divorcees, jetsetters, not sad cases who buy fake rings because they're dying for pure deception."
Ummmm... isn't wearing a fake engagement ring EXACTLY that - pure deception??
And that's just the tip of the iceberg on all the things wrong with this.
As we chip away at this fake ice, my next problem is: why not just buy one at Claire's Accessories or even Arden B.? Both have some fantastic fake bling, it's probably cheaper or the same price as Ms. Taken's faux carat, and you're def not paying for shipping and handling. Sure, it might be slightly embarrassing going into a store and buying yourself a fake ring, but when you've come to the decision to buy a fake ring, I think you've gone past the point of embarrassment.
My other problem with wearing a fake engagement ring - and call me old fashioned - is that it's just bad luck. The purpose of it is to be a man-repellant, but if you're looking to get married one day, isn't repelling men (or women, depending on which way you swing) the LAST thing you want to do? In my youth, I used to wear a cute little amber ring my parents got me in Sweden when I was 16. I wore it on my engagement finger for years. As I started getting older and hitting the bars, I can't tell you how many MEN asked me if I was engaged. Shocked that it even appeared as an engagement ring, I started to think guys actually believed I was engaged. Now I make it a point to NOT wear anything resembling an engagement ring on my finger. (Gaudy rings obviously don't count.)
So, to the Claire Tragesers (the author of the article) of the world, I leave you with this one piece of advice: if you don't like guys constantly hitting on you, don't put a ring on it. Who knows who you will repel? Perhaps your future husband...
Friday, August 13, 2010
That's All She Wrote
Well, ladies, this is my last post. It has certainly been an interesting and fun summer and I was all too happy to share with you all. I hope y'all got some laughs, some shocks, and at least some dating tips.
I gave my number out to about 7 or so guys - a girl never reveals her true number ;) and only a handfull of those turned out to be dates. And only one of those guys turned into a second date.
So what have I learned after a summer of New York City style dating? Guys in NYC expect you to come to them. It's a whole different ballgame in the Big Apple. It's not like Boston where you can stand at the bar and within 20 minutes at least one guy will hit on you, and whether he is cute or your type, he will at least say how pretty you look, sweet-haht, and make you laugh. NYC boys will wait till you approach them, ask for your number, maybe ask you out, and if they do, will probably just expect you to sleep with them - that night. I guess I can see where the premise of "Sex and the City" came from - it's no urban myth.
I wasn't expecting to find my Prince Charming or even my Big, but it was one heck of a ride.
My favorite date? The yoga and Japanese food afterwards. Creative date AND he had a lot of courage to ask a random girl out on a date. I commend him.
My least favorite date? That's a no brainer - for the future, if any guy asks you where you see this date going, it is probably a trap. Get out while you can (unless of course you're into that whole thing).
But now I'm back in Bristol, Rhode Island and law school where the pool of applicants is fewer than tall men in China. If I happen to go on any dates or my love life should take a sudden turn for the exciting, I will be sure to post about it.
Thank you all for reading up on my New York City love life. Until then, maybe I will take some advice and "Ask for Directions."
xox Es
I gave my number out to about 7 or so guys - a girl never reveals her true number ;) and only a handfull of those turned out to be dates. And only one of those guys turned into a second date.
So what have I learned after a summer of New York City style dating? Guys in NYC expect you to come to them. It's a whole different ballgame in the Big Apple. It's not like Boston where you can stand at the bar and within 20 minutes at least one guy will hit on you, and whether he is cute or your type, he will at least say how pretty you look, sweet-haht, and make you laugh. NYC boys will wait till you approach them, ask for your number, maybe ask you out, and if they do, will probably just expect you to sleep with them - that night. I guess I can see where the premise of "Sex and the City" came from - it's no urban myth.
I wasn't expecting to find my Prince Charming or even my Big, but it was one heck of a ride.
My favorite date? The yoga and Japanese food afterwards. Creative date AND he had a lot of courage to ask a random girl out on a date. I commend him.
My least favorite date? That's a no brainer - for the future, if any guy asks you where you see this date going, it is probably a trap. Get out while you can (unless of course you're into that whole thing).
But now I'm back in Bristol, Rhode Island and law school where the pool of applicants is fewer than tall men in China. If I happen to go on any dates or my love life should take a sudden turn for the exciting, I will be sure to post about it.
Thank you all for reading up on my New York City love life. Until then, maybe I will take some advice and "Ask for Directions."
xox Es
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